The Internet is SPECTACULAR at ruining our childhood memories, and this is no exception. The latest revelation? Cap'n Crunch isn't really a captain.

Someone noticed that the Cap'n only has THREE stripes on his sleeves, not four. Three stripes on the sleeve mean you're a COMMANDER in the U.S. Navy, not a captain. FOUR stripes mean you're a captain.

There's some speculation that he was modeled after a French naval captain...which is called a capitaine de frégate...who would only have three stripes. But why would Cap'n Crunch be French?  Makes no sense, man.

(Foodbeast / U.S. Navy)

Here's a photo of a box of Cap'n Crunch compared with the different stripe designations for the Navy: