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Charlie Sheen Has Been Fired By Warner Brothers…But He Still Thinks He’s Winning

Warner Brothers issued a statement saying, quote, “After careful consideration, Warner Brothers Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on ‘Two and a Half Men’ effective immediately.”

They did NOT say anything about cancellation.  Which means that we now have to spend an undetermined amount of time speculating over who might replace Charlie IF the show goes on.

In Charlie’s world, he’s still WINNING, of course.  And he claims he’s HAPPY he was fired.

He issued a statement saying, quote, “This is very good news.  They continue to be in breach, like so many whales.

“It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at [what’s his face] again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”

Just in case Charlie had any questions about his termination, Warner Brothers sent his lawyer an 11-page letter spelling out why they canned him.  (You can see the whole thing here.)

Here are some of the highlights:

Warner Brothers gets right to the point, saying, quote, “At the outset, let us state the obvious:  Your client has been engaged in dangerously self-destructive behavior and appears to be very ill.”

The letter states that efforts were made to help Charlie by giving him time off, reaching out to his family and even offering a private plane to take him to rehab after his most recent hospitalization, which he refused.

But the letter adds, quote, “Regrettably, Mr. Sheen failed to continue with his rehabilitation program.

“The result has been a series of well-chronicled and increasingly erratic outbursts that have culminated with Mr. Sheen’s public tirades of the last few weeks.”

Those tirades were marked by, quote, “inflammatory comments” that were “poisoning key working relationships.”  Obviously, they’re mostly referring to Charlie’s relationship with Chuck Lorre.

Despite Charlie’s claim that he always showed up on the set ready to work, Warner Brothers says he had, quote, “difficulty remembering his lines and hitting his marks.”

They also noted that his lifestyle was causing a change in his appearance. In other words, he’s getting noticeably thinner.  Like, crack-addict thinner.

And yes, there’s a section in his contract on INCAPACITY.  And it includes, quote, “Any material change in Performer’s appearance or other attributes.”

And they lumped all his recent behavior….including his public outbursts, hotel trashings and drug binges…under a heading of, quote, “felony offenses involving moral turpitude.”

Charlie’s lawyer says this is all a smokescreen to cover up the fact that he’s being fired because he insulted Chuck Lorre…quote, “We feel this is nothing more than Lorre flexing his muscles, and we intend to respond accordingly.”

He adds that Warner Brothers is being HYPOCRITICAL because they didn’t react this strongly when Charlie assaulted his wife, Brooke Mueller, over Christmas of 2009.

He said, quote, “Last year, they told Sheen he could plead guilty to a felony and still do the show.  Now they are just upset because they say he disparaged Chuck Lorre.

“We intend to file suit against Warner Brothers Television, Chuck Lorre and everyone involved.”

More of Charlie Sheen’s Response to His Firing

Charlie had more to say about his firing as the day wore on yesterday.  He told “Access Hollywood” that he was informed via TEXT.

He said, quote, “These guys are such yellow cockroaches that they didn’t even have the decency to call me.  I put 5-bill in their cheap suit pockets and another half-a-bil’ in what’s-his-cheese’s pockets and this is the (blanking) respect I get?

“It’s just deplorable and they should be ashamed of themselves!”  He added that what Warner Brothers did was, quote, “the work of silly infants.”

Charlie was also spotted at the top of the Live Nation building in Beverly Hills, wielding a huge machete.  (You can see video of that here.)

As you may know, Live Nation is a major concert promoter.  There’s word going around that Charlie is thinking about doing a live tour…kind of like what Conan O’Brien did when he left NBC.

(Although obviously without anywhere near the talent.)

Meanwhile, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban admits he might be putting Charlie on his HDNet channel.

He says, quote, “It could be a talk show or a reality show.  We’re trying to decide.  Right now, we’re taping a lot of different things that he’s doing and we’ll try to figure it out.  It’s still not 100% certain.”

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