Escaped Texas Lab Baboons Recaptured, Zombie Apocalypse Averted…for Now [Video]

Four baboons that escaped from the Texas Biomedical Research Institute have been recaptured. This will delay the onset of the impending zombie apocalypse for at least another month or so.

We all know how the world will end. Infected animals escape a medical research lab and infect the masses with some new virus that mutates and makes zombies.

I had no idea we had a facility like that in Texas, but we do. It's around San Antonio, and is home to over 1,100 research baboons. Hmm -- an animal biomedical lab in the muggy hill country that is a natural incubator of microbes...sketchy.

Over the weekend, four of the baboons escaped the facility. Three were captured fairly quickly, and the 4th returned voluntarily. Voluntarily? I know baboons are super smart, but this seems like it has been trained to run amok, and then return to home base for further instructions.

Here's a civilian video of one of the primates running free, possibly trying to alert humanity to the impending doom:

And here's the "official" story from the lab itself. (And of course, the mainstream media, whom we all know will be in on the spread of the disease to sell tons of ad space while we all eat each other's brains, leaving only the super wealthy to finally own all of the world without having to care about to plebeian scum like us...or something like that.)