Football Coach Catches Player Checking Phone After Close 77-Point Loss
After his Heart got their heart split in two and smacked around like a lonely fourth-grader playing tetherball by himself in a 77-0 loss to the Atlanta Steam last week, Doremus tried to console his team by telling them it would never happen again because they're such fierce competitors. "They" does not include number 8 on his team, though, because she was busy on her phone.
From our crack research, she is Jessica Slobotski and we're guessing she's either Googling "football plays that work," looking on WebMD to determine if she should be in concussion protocol or checking out Monster.com to see if there are job openings in literally any other non-football field.
Either way, if Coach Doremus is harboring dreams of coaching on a bigger stage, he'd better get to work 'cause he sure as heck ain't no Bill Belichick, who would've cut Slobotski before she could text the first "L" in "LOL!"