Man Breaks Into House, Makes Pot Pie in His Underwear AND THEN THINGS GET WEIRD
If a wild night of drinking ends with you sitting on a recliner in your underwear waiting for some food to heat up in order to starve off a bad case of the beer-munchies, that usually means that on that night, you somehow managed to run with the ranks of the wicked and wild without getting into too much trouble.
However, when a rampant drinking binge finds you comfortably basking in the confines of a stranger’s house wearing nothing but a filthy pair of shart-stained looms while you wait for a frozen dinner to cook all the way through – you’ve got real troubles, brother.
Just ask 22-year-old Russell Neff, who according to the Wicomico County Sheriff’s Department, broke into a stranger’s home, stripped down to nothing but his “tighty whities” and then proceeded to cook a pot pie while the owner of the house hid upstairs and called 911.
When deputies arrived on the scene, they found the mongrel hanging out in the homeowner’s leather recliner, wearing nothing but his underpants, licking all over the remote control (now that’s hungry) and waiting for a chicken pot pie that he had found in the freezer to finish cooking in the microwave. Note: Licking another man’s remote control is punishable by death in some countries – you just don’t do it.
After struggling with officers, Neff was taken into custody where he was charged with first-degree burglary, malicious destruction of property, resisting arrest and theft of a chicken pot pie, which incidentally, he never got a chance to eat. Licking a remote control isn’t breaking a law? It should be. Penalty of death.
He is currently being held in the Wicomico County Detention Center on a $250,000 bond.