Chris Illuminati

Kellie Pickler’s hair is gone y’all! Rootin tootin! Lord have mercy! Ain’t that a stitch! Whatever else southern folk would say when something crazy happens. Good god and Honey Boo Boo! We know that’s a real saying.

NBC gets its multicolored peacock feathers kicked in the ratings week after week. Even its morning juggernaut ‘The Today Show’ has lost some shine off Matt Lauer’s forever-balding dome. (Seriously, the dude has been losing hair since the late 90’s. It’s time to go Kevorkian on those last few follicles.) The once mighty broadcasting bird is banking big money on the summer games.

Did you ever wonder how your favorite radio show got its name? We think we’ve figured it out.

Just as watching a fat rodent sticking his head out of a hole has become tradition every February 2nd, so has watching the movie that takes it’s name — it’s Groundhog Day! The Bill Murray film is a classic and loved by millions, especially everyone watching it right this very moment on TV (it’s playing SOMEWHERE in the world) but here are ten odd facts about the movie that you probably didn’t know

Several last-minute, game-winning scores highlighted the week two NFL action as Washington, Buffalo, Detroit and Houston unexpectedly joined Green Bay, New England and the N.Y. Jets as the NFL’s remaining undefeated teams. Here is a recap of all the games: Detroit 48 – Kansas City 3 Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford threw for 294 yards and four touchdowns as the Lions (2-0) romped over the Chiefs

Let this video of a motorcyclist crashing at top speed into a passing truck be a lesson to all drivers: Motorcycles are dangerous, riders should always wear a helmet and Ryan Gosling probably won’t be around to smooth things over when the two drivers meet. Despite the severity of the crash (which shatters the motorcycle in question), its rider miraculously gets up and walks it off.

A man dressed as Gumby made such a horrible attempt at robbing a 7-11 store that the clerk thought it was all a joke. The assailant told the clerk he was being robbed then fumbled inside his costume as if he was going to pull out a gun. He ended up dropping 27 cents on the floor and being told by the man behind the counter “not to waste his time.”

It’s impossible to not find kittens super adorable. Even alpacas are impervious to their cuteness. This alpaca wants to show its affection for this little bundle of fur by nudging it around with its nose and possibly asking it out on a date.

Here is how the cheesy late-90′s stand-up comic buried deep in our subconscious would report this story: “Hey folks! Did you read the story in the Northwest Herald today about a guy in Illinois that found $150K in his backyard garden? Talk about growing some cabbage! Am I right folks? Those are a different kind of greens my friends! You hear what I’m saying everyone?!?”

Despite the country’s diligent precautions, Hurricane Irene left a path of destruction in her wake. It was enough to even scare Spider-Man, who sounded a little intimidated by Irene during this interview with a local ABC reporter. Even superheroes need to evacuate sometimes.