![How Can Lubbock Survive an Attack From an Evil Horde of Invading Fire Ants?](https://townsquare.media/site/190/files/2021/07/attachment-mikhail-vasilyev-Vf1JrKMUS0Q-unsplash.jpg?w=980&q=75)
How Can Lubbock Survive an Attack From an Evil Horde of Invading Fire Ants?
Lubbock's favorite little red menaces are back, and they need to die.
Horribly.
Painfully.
Die.
Yes, Ralph, they are itchy. And they suck.
It's that time of year again, and you've probably noticed that mounds of ant hills have sprouted up all over your backyard, which means just one thing:
INVASION!!!
I think, right now in my backyard, that I must have no less than 50 fire ant mounds that have burst through the crust of the earth in the past two weeks. They're literally everywhere.
Add to that the fact that I have small, stupid dogs who don't know to avoid these landmines, and you've got a recipe for lots and lots of little, painful bites.
![Awesome 98 logo](https://townsquare.media/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/KKCLFM.png?w=100)
It may be time to call in a professional.
Okay...maybe not. But we have serious ant-related issues here in the Hub City. All I care about is how to kill them, and then kill them again...without killing the very earth that they have so thoughtlessly invaded.
According to MedicineNet, a simple mix of one part dish soap and two parts water will work to suffocate and eventually kill them. I like that. It's like Ant Waterboarding. The problem I have is that I have so many fire ant hills and don't want my backyard to look like my dishwasher, all foamy and whatnot.
I do have another thought that would also work, which I am seriously leaning towards.
That's right. Fire -- and lots of it. You can't go wrong with a good, old-fashioned military-grade flamethrower to wipe out a population of millions.
And yes, I know...I seriously need to cut back on my Simpsons references.
10 Things You Learn When You Move to Texas
MORE: Some of the Memes & Tweets That Have Made Us Laugh (and Maybe Think)
LOOK: The most expensive weather and climate disasters in recent decades
LOOK: Here Are 30 Foods That Are Poisonous to Dogs
More From Awesome 98
![20 Years Ago: Rolling Stones Take Homer Simpson to Rock Camp](http://townsquare.media/site/295/files/2022/11/attachment-Simpsons-rockers.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![10 Popular Phrases Invented By TV Shows](http://townsquare.media/site/442/files/2022/09/attachment-attachment-common-phrases.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![TERROR: West Texas Faces Off Against an Annoying Subterranean Menace](http://townsquare.media/site/190/files/2022/05/attachment-shardar-tarikul-islam-gcfKtVWaEHc-unsplash.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![‘The Simpsons’ Seemingly Predicted Russia-Ukraine Crisis 24 Years Ago](http://townsquare.media/site/442/files/2022/02/attachment-simpsons-ukraine.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![With the Help of Homer Simpson, Conan O’Brien Says Goodbye to His TBS Show and Late Night](http://townsquare.media/site/192/files/2021/06/attachment-GettyImages-532009640.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![‘The Simpsons’ Made a ‘Star Wars’ Short For May the 4th](http://townsquare.media/site/442/files/2021/05/simpsons-star-wars-short.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![‘The Simpsons’ Renewed For Seasons 33 and 34](http://townsquare.media/site/442/files/2021/03/the-simpsons-11-22.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![‘The Simpsons’ Replaces Harry Shearer As the Voice of Dr. Hibbert](http://townsquare.media/site/442/files/2021/02/The-Simpsons-Dr-Hibbert.jpg?w=980&q=75)
![30 Years Ago: ‘The Simpsons’ Airs Its First ‘Treehouse of Horror’](http://townsquare.media/site/295/files/2020/10/Simpsons-Treehouse.jpg?w=980&q=75)