How Lubbock’s Pestering Insect Issues Could Become a Thing of the Past

Yep, they are nasty, disgusting little annoyances, and they are everywhere this year.

HOUSEFLIES.

When you have little, incontinent dogs (like we do) who have to go out constantly, once that door is open it seems as if we welcome in a half dozen houseflies at any given time. So much so, that I'm actually shocked when we don't have a fly buzzing around our bay windows.

But now, the tide has turned against the insect Taliban, as I received the great equalizer on my birthday.

Meet the 2-in-1 4,000-volt YISSVIC Electric Fly Swatter and Bug Zapper...or, as I call it:

THE DEVIL'S TENNIS RACQUET!

This thing is BAD ASS.

As you can see, it's rechargeable using a USB outlet and most certainly kills bugs dead. It can be used as a murderous fly swatter or as a standalone bug zapper.

My choice, though, is to walk around with this thing slung over my shoulder like Negan carrying his bat in The Walking Dead, full of confidence that I shall rid my home of flying menaces and keep the peace for eternity. I just turn it on, admire the purple light, aim for a fly, and then: BZZZZZWHACKZZHIP!!! 

Bye, fly.

via GIPHY

Yeah, like that.

I firmly believe that the City of Lubbock should be issuing these to every single residence in the Hub City. They only cost about $33, and it'll spend enough time charging that the city will definitely make it's money back on your power usage. Plus, they are so freaking cool.

I think, as if this writing, I've char-broiled no less than 30 flying nightmares and sent them to a fiery death of blue flame and a slight sound of bacon frying. I highly recommend this thing.

And yes, I need serious help.