Panicked Lubbock Residents Brace for Non-Freezing Temperatures
It's above 32 degrees in the Hub City for the first time in the past 7 days.
Snow is melting at such a furious pace that every intersection looks like a Class 3 Whitewater Rapid.
Local car washes have a longer waiting list than most country clubs.
Time to freak out.
Now, we know what you're saying: 'This is another stupid article that's intended to make fun of our amazing city as we thaw from the icy grip of death, right?'
But let's think about it. After we spent a week shivering, commiserating, coming together, and watching our power bills skyrocket to roughly the equivalent of the Gross National Product of Luxembourg, we suddenly emerge from this Nordic hell-scape and come to a stark realization: It's time to return to normal.
Whatever that is.
Yeah, normal. Perhaps the one thing that we in West Texas crave once more. Sure, we've fared better than most areas with COVID-19 lockdowns and the ability to keep the power on (for the most part) during the recent winter storm, unlike our wussier (no thanks to ERCOT) wine and cheese-soaked neighbors in Austin, Dallas, and Houston.
As we navigate roadways that look like the canals of Venice, we're coming out of our isolation and realizing that, no, we didn't buy up all of the milk and bread like a lesser burg might be apt to do.
So it's time to resume normality. Are you ready for it? It's okay, we can hear you asking, 'BUT, I'M USED TO BEING FEARFUL OF EVERYTHING NOW! SNOW, COVID-19...I CAN'T DO THIS!"
Sure you can, Cletus. The world may be scary, but now that the sun is out and we're no longer huddled in the corner for warmth, spring and summer are right around the corner. So turn off your TV, turn down your heater, go outside, take a deep breath, walk around the block, maybe take a drive and realize that it could be a lot worse: we could live in Odessa.