There are two things that seem to be in the air here in Lubbock lately. Dust (duh), and the faint smell of a felony in progress.

On Friday, the People's Republic of New Mexico decided that taco sales were dangerously below baseline, so they did the only thing possible to bring those numbers up:

They legalized marijuana.

Photo by Add Weed on Unsplash
Photo by Add Weed on Unsplash

As Texans stream across the border to pick up a few ounces of "Albuquerque Quirky" or "Weed-uidoso" I've noticed this past weekend that the familiar smell of Columbian Fauna has been a bit more prevalent around these parts. Especially at stoplights, which could create an issue if you're being closely followed by Lubbock's Finest. Yes, we can smell that s#!t, Willie.

"But I bought it in New Mexico! It's legal there!" Yeah, See you at the arraignment.

Unfortunately for everyone who's on the "legalize it" train, Texas still considers weed a no-no. Regardless of where you bought it, if you bring it back and use it here, you're committing a felony. And the po-po is on the lookout. Plus, they could nail you for trafficking narcotics if they find it in the car, which is worse.

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Personally, I don't smoke weed and I don't care if it's legal or not, but like cigarettes and your feet, I don't want to smell that crap. And no, you really can't hide it. So here's my advice:


Bake it into a brownie, a cookie or whatever. Then, go to town. You won't offend anyone and you'll still get the THC hit that you've been craving. Besides, anyone who uses the while "smoking weed is healthy" line is clearly high. I've seen the med reports. If you smoke weed, you're going to die before me. That's following the science. And no, you can't change my mind.

If you smoke weed in Texas, some county mountie is going to smell it and have a reason to send you to the hoosegow. There's already the thought that, just like closing time at a bar, cops are going to watch anyone leaving a dispensary and see if they cross back over the Texas state line and nail them.

So dial back your excitement about being able to buy weed legally in New Mexico, Texans. Be smart about it and have a cookie. Then, have a taco or 10.

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If you run into someone in Lubbock who says or does any of these things, you may want to just walk the other way.


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