This week, Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that Texas will be building a border wall between the U.S. and Mexico, in defiance of President Biden's order that stopped border wall construction.

No, we're not getting political here, and don't really care where you stand on the issue. Mostly because there may be a far more pressing need for border fencing that has not been addressed to this point and hits a little closer to home.

I'm not saying that we DON'T need fencing along La Frontera. But instead of Mexico, perhaps we could use protection from those treacherous parasites from the west: New Mexico.

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Nope...CLOSED!

The Land of Enchantment is, in this author's opinion, the Land of Desperation. Sure, you've got sweeping vistas, Native culture, and green chile salsa in New Mexico. But you wanna know a secret? WE'VE GOT THOSE HERE, TOO!

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Let's be clear on what we are trying to accomplish with this new wall. It's not to keep Texans from visiting New Mexico, because we make every place better with our presence. It's to keep people from New Mexico from coming here. Especially if they drive.

My goodness, New Mexico drivers suck. I mean, have you seen New Mexico drivers try to navigate the frontage roads on The Loop or the Marsha Sharp Freeway, trying to figure out how to get on the highway? It's painful to watch. If I notice a pretty yellow New Mexico license plate, I give them a wide berth.

Plus, our grocery and gas prices are significantly cheaper, so they flood our stores and fill our prime parking spaces. New Mexicans know that if they come to Texas, they don't need to wear a mask no matter how New Mexico Covid-y they are. Keep your Roswell germs in Roswell. Plus, it incentivizes Texas to get off its duff and bring in things that we need here, such as casino gambling. Whatever gets us to $2.99 shrimp cocktails in the Keno lounge at Harrah's Lubbock sooner, the better.

There's just one drawback to this plan. Apparently, New Mexico has already devised an evil genius-level master plan to avoid our border wall. You see, they've got themselves an Air Force.

Photo by Hayden Walker on Unsplash

They're gonna float right over that wall. Clever, aren't they?

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