Did a Crazy Lubbock Psycho B**** Stab Her Online Date in the Name of Iran?

Meet Nika Nikoubin.

She's a 21-year-old former Lubbock resident who's Facebook page shows her working at one time with the office of Student Success and Retention at Texas Tech. She also attended UCLA and was a coach on their Junior Varsity debate team.

She has pronouns, but she's also bats*** crazy.

Apparently, going to college on the West Coast will turn you into an America hating psychopath, as our cute little Nika was just arrested for trying to gut someone she met on a dating app, all in the name of what...terrorism?

According to the newshawks at EverythingLubbock.com, young Nika relocated to Las Vegas and was trolling a dating site known as Plenty of Fish when she met a man whom she decided to gut like a fish in retaliation for the drone strike death of Iranian General Qassem Solelmani. She stabbed the unidentified man after meeting him at the Sunset Station Casino and engaging in, ahem, adult activities. Then, according to police, after blindfolding her victim, she went all Basic Instinct and jabbed him in the neck.

The victim survived, while Nikoubin was arrested and charged with attempted murder with bond set at $60,000.

When asked why she did it, she claimed it was revenge for the murder of General Qassem Soleimani of Iran.

This cute young thing who lived in Lubbock recently is a one-woman psycho sleeper cell?

Just proves that you can't judge a book by its cover, can you?

I'm not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that dating apps are so easily used to commit war crimes or that Miss Taliban here lived right here in Lubbock.

Do we have people living in our midst in the Hub City? Zealots who are ready to be activated as murderous agents at the snap of a finger to murder innocents? Well, maybe not.

Plus, the fact that she went to Texas Tech may be as much of a coincidence as anything, but campuses are generally hotbeds of grooming young, impressionable minds. Or getting s***-faced on game day at an off-campus bar. Either way, proceed with caution.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to delete every dating app on my phone. I'm not taking a shank in the name of ISIS.