It’s Going to Be So Cold in Lubbock That…
We are off to a very cold start as we get hit with a second winter (is that a thing, 'cause it seems to be a thing). Well, we certainly are in for a frosty weekend, and I, for one, say good!
Before we get to the hijinks, let me explain why I think this is good. Last year we barely had a hard freeze. This year's freeze might be sufficient to kill whatever out there that needs to be killed from pollen-laden plants to mosquitos. Just go die, you sensitive to cold weather things, I've had enough of you.
One more thing: please take this cold seriously for you and your pets. Your doggie may pee on your carpet by bringing him inside, but that's a whole lot better than having a dead doggie outside. Keep everybody and everything warm this weekend.
Now, how cold is it in Lubbock?
- It's so cold in Lubbock that they're carving a parka for the Buddy Holly statue
- It's so cold that the ducks in the playa lakes are wearing down jackets
- It's so cold that you're finally going to be able to burn those phone books that were left in your yard
- It's so cold that double T logos will shrink to lower case
- It's so cold that you may actually see turn signals on cars, mostly because they got frozen in place
- It's so cold that we may have to have New Mexico amputated later
- It's so cold that strippers may actually give you discounted lap dances just to have a warm place to sit
- It's so cold that people will hire the homeless just to breathe on them
- It's so cold that people will be making igloos out of those rolls of toilet paper they hoarded.