Several schools across the country have banned Flamin' Hot Cheetos because they are so unhealthy and dangerous to kids. What about these snacks? They seem *at least* as terrifying as something that promises to be hot as fire. It certainly can't be safe for kids to eat these. Also, we want some.

Lava Balls

lava balls
Amazon
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Not only are these spicy, they're probably also a great way to get a terrible nickname.

Devil Dogs

devil dog
DrakesDevilDogs.com
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Oh Cerberus, you tasty, tasty snack cake.

Nitro Takis

Takis Nitro
Esnaks.com
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The snack so bad they had to name it after an American Gladiator

Red Hot Riplets Rap Snacks

Rap Snacks
Red Hot Riplets
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These snacks distract from traditional education with their pimp education.

Clamato Chips

clamato chips
Taquitos.net
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Everyone knows Clamato is the devil's drink.

Death Rain Fire Balls

death rain
Taquitos.net
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3rd degree burn
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3rd Degree Burn Doritos

Foodista

We prefer our snacks to destroy every layer of skin, thank you very much.

Sponch

sponch
Mobli
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Because we're pretty sure "sponch" is the sound a dog makes when it barfs.

Every Kind of Goldfish Cracker Ever

goldfish cracker
Sodahead
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Why is this thing smiling? Is it because it's EVIL???

Tohato Tyrant Habanero Burning Hell Hot

tohato
Fiery-Foods.com
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No seriously, though, this is just terrifying.

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