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This weekend, I had the opportunity to fly to the West Coast and spend some time with my wife. It had been a few weeks, so I was very excited to have some "romantic" time. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)

I had a couple of connections since I was apparently flying Buddy Holly Airlines, and arrived in my first stop in Dallas.

Now, I KNOW that I could have driven to Dallas instead of flying from Lubbock Preston Smith because it would have been cheaper. I can assure you that it was, but the savings did not outweigh the cost of the gas to drive there since I still own a blue 2007 Piece of Crap. So, multiple connections.

As I arrived in Dallas, I immediately set out to find some good airport food and a cold one. I was not disappointed in finding Cooper's BBQ in Terminal B.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media
Lance Ballance, Townsquare Media

After a serviceable brisket sandwich and a Rahr and Sons Amber, I set out to find my next gate.

But in Terminal C, I found my nemesis.

As a 49ers fan, being in Dallas is akin to being mongoose in a snake pit. It's only going to end in tears, and yes, there is Cowboys gear EVERYWHERE. Even at the airport.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media
Lance Ballance, Townsquare Media

I was a pilgrim in an unholy land.

I stumbled across Emmitt Smith Sports, and immediately found myself surrounded by the mark of the beast...a rushing beast.

You can find plenty of Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott jerseys, along with hats, cups, mugs, sweaters, name it. It's Cowboys Heaven for people who are LEAVING Dallas. If you're trying to leave, the Cowboys want you to spread the Star across the land.

Yes, they even got this 49ers fan to buy a keychain.

I feel so dirty.

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