How Long Before Mutant Killer Earthworms Arrive in Lubbock?

As if 2020 wasn't through screwing with us...

From the year that brought you COVID-19, murder hornets, impeachment proceedings, and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Andy Dalton...comes the mutant killer earthworm.

Yes, the Hammerhead Worm is (slowly) crawling its way to West Texas. Run (or...walk comfortably) for your lives!

This is serious business. Even CNN is sounding the alarm.

Fake News? Let's freaking hope so.

From the article:

The worms produce tetrodotoxin, the same deadly neurotoxin produced by pufferfish, according to a study from Utah State University.

Wait a minute. You mean we have crawling pufferworms invading Georgia? As it stands, Georgia is one of the last states to figure this whole election nonsense, and now we seem to have an answer to why. The worms have invaded the ballot machines. It wasn't Russia, it was mutant killer poison earthworms.

So, yeah -- we're all gonna die.

Unfortunately, because I know how the internet works, I can guarantee you that somewhere, deep in a government-run lab in the Wuhan Province of China, scientists are finding ways to create super mutant poison earthworms by infecting them all with coronavirus, thereby creating the deadliest, and possibly slowest, weapon of biological warfare known to man:

COVIDHAMMER WORMS

You think I'm just being paranoid? Please -- I've watched Alex Jones. This is the real deal, Patriots.

Obviously, it's only a matter of time until these poisonous, COVID-19-filled, super deathworms reach West Texas. How long do we have left? It's anyone's guess. Since we trust the science, based upon the average speed of a standard earthworm, multiplied by the deadliness factor of these worms, it's speculated that Lubbock Hospitals will be inundated with cases of worm poisoning by December 5th...

....of the year 2154.

Wash your hands, and watch where you step.