These Cheap New Sandals From Walmart Make Really Loud Fart Noises

Get ready to look incredibly cute while simultaneously grossing everyone out when you buy a brand spanking new pair of these cheap sandals from Walmart.

They come in a wide variety of colors to match almost any outfit, and you'll be pleased with the amount of attention you receive in them as you walk across a quiet restaurant to the bathroom while they blast the most righteous fart noises you've ever heard.

I bought these shoes when I discovered I had forgotten to bring my sandals with me on vacation. Crap. I popped into Walmart to grab a cheap pair quickly and saw those lavender bad boys.

$6.88? Winner-winner.

I put the shoes on in the car on the way to eat dinner. I noticed as I got out of the car that they were a little squeaky, but I wasn't paying much attention. It wasn't until I excused myself to the bathroom during dinner and walked through a quiet restaurant that I got to witness their true majesty.

Everyone was staring. The shoes were farting. Oh god.

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I started walking kind of weirdly, trying to prevent the shoes from more embarrassing noises, which in turn made it look like I was having some kind of bathroom emergency. It was even more ridiculous when I left the bathroom and walked through the restaurant back to my seat, as the fart noises continued and people probably thought I had some unfinished business to attend to.

Lord have mercy.

I gave the shoes a few chances to prove they could behave themselves, but to no avail. Do I have some really weird feet that don't fit them right? Or do these shoes just have zero manners? Do you have them? Comment below or on our Facebook page. Bonus points to anyone out there that sends me a video of your shoes farting in public.